wake up i wanna do it froggy style
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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