Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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