Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
