I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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