God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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