WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize