guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Terrible idea I love it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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