I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
