I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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