The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My bed smells like the plague
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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