Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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