i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
