Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just blew my weed a kiss
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
