I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
