I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
