you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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