Is it normal to miss your booty call?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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