Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize