Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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