we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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