I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
