The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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