the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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