Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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