Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
