The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
