I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
