WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
