Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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