i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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