Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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