so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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