My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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