You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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