my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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