he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
