so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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