Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We don't watch enough power rangers
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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