I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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