apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
