i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
