Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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