This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
