actually, I'm a sock model
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
sex in a hospital.. check
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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