he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
