ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
