my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
