I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
