you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
