she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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