so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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