i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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