I'm going to jail i love you
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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