i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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