I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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