we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
