i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
