She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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