no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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