I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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