Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!