i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway